Who helps you?

last week my princess caught me off guard.

"mommy, who helps you when you need help?"

"good question baby, daddy helps me, Meme helps me... lots of people help me..."

"NO! mommy...JESUS helps you!"

Laughter erupted as I scooped her up and congratulated her on catching me like that!

I have clung to that story and those words since that day. You see, that was Monday after school. But on Sunday I found out I was pregnant. Every day last week I grinned euphorically as I thought back to that sweet conversation. Until Friday.

Friday, in true crazy preggo fashion, I took another at-home test, ya know "just in case." Negative. My heart sank. I called my doctor who ordered blood work but I wouldn't have the results until Monday.

Saturday we continued on as though Monday we would receive happy news. But by Sunday morning, there was no mistaking what was happening. I cried quietly to myself because nobody knew yet except my husband, who was sick.

Monday came, the phone call confirmed what I knew to be true. I filled in the details of the weekend and was instructed to have another blood test to make sure everything was "returning to normal after the Mis.... Then the tears. They came but only briefly, I was in Publix and didn't have time to wallow. My family needed food for the week. This is not the first time, twice in the last 6 months but this one was different. This one was planned for, prayed for. My mominess had begun to rise up inside of me already. (i guess that happens faster after your first). I was planning the nursery and dreaming up names. But it was not to be.

Insult to injury, I did finally succumb to the cold hovering in my house from my princess and my husband. All of Tuesday I laid on my couch oscillating between coughing/sneezing and cramping. THIS SUCKS!

and then the words came... "Mommy, who helps you when you need help?" (tears with the faintest of smiles)

This week I have held her just a little longer and snuggled a little tighter. That sweet little fiery human spoke healing and life into me at 3 years old.

Please know I'm not sharing this for attention or condolences. I'm sharing this because maybe you need to have a pure heart of innocence and faith ask you the same question... "Who helps you when you need help?"

I'm sure I'll be back to my sass-mouth ways soon enough but for this week I'm choosing to focus inward. To hug my darling daughter all the more and be thankful for my sweet little family... who also helps me when I need help.