Hey Mama, hear my heart

Hey Mama,

This won’t take long. I know you are tired. I know you are foggy. I know you desperately want a shower and a nap. But I also know that baby will wake hungry soon. I know that kitchen is eternally whispering “clean me” in the back of your mind. I know that laundry pile glares at you, almost mocking.

I know you secretly want to toss the laundry out the window and watch it drift on the wind like leaves in fall, so peaceful. I know you cringe every time someone places a spoon in the sink; “sure, no problem, I’ll get that in a minute…again.” I know the resentment every time the paper towel role is empty, the toilet paper role is empty, the soap is empty… “no no, let me jump out of the 5 minutes in my shower to go get soap. I’ll clean up my puddle after.” I know you fight the ugly darkness that creeps up at 2am when the baby is restless and reaching, begging “my mommy pleeeeeeeeeease.”

I know the heart break you feel as you pry your sweet baby off at daycare, but you have to go to work. Might as well be tearing off my arm. I know the sorrow that fills your eyes when that sweet baby says, “up pwease, mommy,” but you are already late for work.

I know the guilt that permeates when you realize how selfish all of those feelings are. So many families praying for the gift of children and here you are begrudging the blessing. I know the exhaustion that cuts to the bone. It is more than an inability to sleep. It is the constant organizing, the planning, the worrying that takes up residence in your mind “did I get that finished? Did she hear me snap at her daddy? Shoot, I forgot to wash that for school…” and the list scrolls on and on like a news ticker.

With this depth of knowledge I want to pray for you…

Jehovah-Shalom, my refuge, grant peace that passes understanding today.

Jehovah-Jireh, my God who provides, remember Your promises today. The bills and bread of tomorrow will care for themselves. My Jehovah will provide for you today.

Jehovah-Nissi. This day will not defeat you. My God is a banner under which we are victorious. Take courage my Spartan sister, remember that you are more than a Conqueror.

And finally, Jehovah-Elohim. Today I pray for a unique and immeasurable strength that only My Jehovah can give.

Take a deep breath, repeat His name.