Why is it so much harder now Part II

Has your kid shown an interest in a sport? If you answered no, what is your secret.

If you answered yes, please accept my condolences at this time for the loss of your free time, money, sanity and absurd amount of small talk you are now required to participate in while at practices and games.

Oh, what was that, “it’s just one night a week…” ok pumpkin, that’s sweet. It’s just one night a week now. But next year, that dance teacher is going to give you a coveted competition team invite (spoiler alert, everybody “of age” gets that invite). Your kids soccer team is going to migrate to the league team and your son will be devastated if he can’t go as well. But don’t worry, it’s an easy choice because they practice five nights a week and travel every. single. freaking. weekend. Once that financial commitment sinks in, you will start entertaining ridiculousness such as “If I volunteer as treasurer, I will get a $500 discount! yea, that’s a great plan…” Did you hear that evil laugh as you signed up? Yea that was satan and yes, he got you.

Ya see, there is no such thing as part-time extracurricular activities, anymore. They do not exist. If you want your child to feel like he is part of a team, you have to go balls deep on the travel team. If you want your princess to be “in” with her friends, you better get that glue gun ready and buy stock in the sticks because you just signed up to glue rhinestones on tights for the next 10 years of your life.

The irony that I’m venting about this is not lost on me, considering I actually built a business as a pageant coach. But I require 1 practice every other week until competition time. I give homework to be completed after all school work is done. I do not choose the competitions and I certainly do not choose every competition for a client. I get it moms, we out here trying to conquer the world and clean all the things while all the creatures are eternally hungry and we just really want a freaking nap. I see you. I get you. When did this get so damn hard?