Hey Dad,

It was a weird day dad.

I helped a friend navigate the minefield of death today. His mom was found in her home.

It is weird that I almost envied him? She passed in her sleep. Peaceful. No struggle. How I wish that had been the case with you.

He is an only child, like you. His parents have been divorced for years, like mine.

I was so thankful for my brothers, today. The one I fought with relentlessly as a child. The other I barely knew because he moved out with you. And yet, they stood arm in arm with me that day when my knees buckled with your last breath.

My friend is clearly in shock. He didnt really know what to do. Is that how you felt with your mom when she died so young?

I know its not my job to help my friend. He has friends and a church to help him. But very few know the emotional reality of this sort of thing. I couldn‘t not help. I know what he is feeling. I know what he is about to feel.

He said, “I’m numb. I cant cry...” this scene is familiar. These tears are familiar, so I cry them on his behalf. It will be days, maybe weeks until he is able to do so for himself.

I was able to share the same words you said to me that horrible day...

“Why are you crying? Dont you believe what I have taught you? If you do, you know where I am going. So dry it up, little girl. I am going home.”

Even in your death you taught me how to live. How to believe. Today I was so thankful for this lesson.

It was a weird day